what’s in a word? everything

We are suffused with fake outrage.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary — which is our dictionary of choice, both online and in book form — has just added 1,000 new words, from bokeh to woo-woo.

To our eternal chagrin, however, kitchenalia is not among them.

Our humble blog is but five entries deep, but we have already driven the claimstake into the ground. In our second post, “why a kitchen?”, we define kitchenalia as “things designed for use in a kitchen. They can be as mundane as a whisk, as valuable as a Dutch oven, or as whimsical as a vintage Moo-Cow Creamer dispenser.”

We are not the only users of this extraordinary word. Other dictionaries recognize it as well. Dictionary.com defines kitchenalia as “cooking equipment and other things found in a kitchen”. Oxford Dictionaries — yes, that Oxford — defines kitchenalia as “cooking utensils and other items associated with the kitchen.” A quick Google search on “kitchenalia” returns 3,190,000 (or, a veritable plethora of) resources for exploring the meanings of the word and its current use in our culture.

And here’s the final twist of the (chef’s) knife…in the article introducing these new words, Merriam-Webster takes great pride in announcing:

“New words from the ever-expanding vocabulary of cooking and food include arancini, EVOO, and macaron, as well as sharp tools of the kitchen santoku and chef’s knife. The adjective artisanal now has an expanded entry.”

What about kitchenalia? M-W announces: “The word you’ve entered isn’t in the dictionary.”

This is a travesty, a sham, and a calumny, and we shall not stand for it. What will it take, Merriam-Webster, for you to see the light and to include kitchenalia in your (up until now) outstanding tool of the English language?

We await your reply with complete, utter, and total aplomb.

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